Ok… So… If you have been keeping up with my love life, you may know that I have a boyfriend! Yes that’s right a real man who loves me and thinks I’m wonderful (well most of the time)!
We are also coming up to our 8 monthaversary so we are starting to really get to really know each other, with most of the filters being down (not all, as I haven’t farted in front of him yet, and I’m not likely to unless it’s an accident). I just thought that I would write down some musings (on a Monday of course as I like the onomatopoeia of it) about Men and what I have learnt in the last 8 months… Please correct me if I am wrong and you have never witnessed these traits in a man dear reader, or you are in fact a man and whole heartedly agree or disagree as the case may be.
I have to preface all this by saying that I am now the proud owner of a body, mind, soul and spirit that has walked the earth for 45 years and Mr Normal is 52 so we have our own way of doing things which has been a challenge in itself.
Men (Mr Normal) I have noticed, can be so kind, thoughtful, generous, understanding, loving, caring and all those other wonderful gooey words, but you know what I didn’t know? MEN ARE SO SELFISH!!!!!! What is with that? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I have been discussing this with all my girlfriends and they just laugh at me and say “really, I can’t believe you didn’t know that” one even said “thank you, I thought I was the only one who thought that.” I don’t understand how they can be all these wonderful things one moment, then turn around the next and do something so selfish and thoughtless.
I am sure I am capable of doing all these things as well, but I am actually aware, extremely conscience of what I am doing and most of the time I think about it and then change my behaviour or ask the questions or check with my significant other. MEN have no idea they are even being selfish or thoughtless, it just doesn’t occur to them to think of another person sometimes. I’m not sure if it makes them stupid or just really annoying.
I could give you many, many examples particular the preparation of food/drinks. Mr Normal thinks it is all a bit of a joke, laughs and thinks I’m “sassy,” but my way of handling the situation is always to respond to what he should have said or done that he didn’t. “Oh honey, I would love a cup of tea thank you”… Oh babe, thank you so much for getting me some breakfast/putting some toast on for me/boiling an egg as well as yours” Sure I would love to pay for you to get a massage so we can both have one at the same time instead of me waiting for you at home” Or wow, you look beautiful tonight, or you look so lovely, thanks for going to so much effort to look nice or even, that’s a nice dress, is it new? Oh but my favourite, (which doesn’t happen very often) “Sure I will do everything for dinner while you sit and watch tv/do some work ” Most of the time he asks if I need any help, but it is always too late, when everything is already done! I know that you are all probably laughing at me but these are the things that I am learning right now!
This is what I have been trying to put into practice. I always comment when he does something thoughtful for positive reinforcement! The other day I just said I didn’t want to cook dinner and I sat and looked at Facebook and read some of my book while he made dinner. This was probably the hardest one, (as I so wanted to go and help and interfere, especially when all the vegetable where cooked and the steak hadn’t gone on, but I was very restrained) but I honestly didn’t feel like cooking and he ended up cooking a really yummy steak and vegetable dinner! So I think it is great for him to do that sometimes. I think I will maybe try to not be so sarcastic and just ask that he might consider putting on the kettle for me when he makes breakfast, or even just asking if I would like a boiled egg when he makes them.
Well all that being said, I did just have my very first Valentines Day… I know that you old marrieds out there probably don’t celebrate anymore, but it is really lovely when you are with someone for the first time that you do something special, especially since this was my very first ever with a boyfriend!
I woke up to a beautiful flower next to me (I have no idea how he snuck into my room and put it next to me while I was sleeping and I didn’t wake up) he said I must have been having a Sleeping Beauty Moment, God love him, I was probably snoring LOL! We had a picnic and went for a walk around Mt Glorious and dreamed of opening a cafe up there. It was so nice dreaming and thinking of the future. So it really isn’t bad at all. I just don’t understand why they have to be so frustrating at the same time.
I wrote all this last week, (I think you can hear that I was feeling a tad frustrated even though I love him to pieces) then this weekend it all came to a head and I said I was “done.” Well I wasn’t really done, I was just, you know tired, that time of the month, and it was just wrong timing. The great things is that my little break down made us talk about a whole heap of things that needed to be discussed, so it was good! I just have to not explode next time. LOL! So we just worked through our first big “fight” not that it was really a fight, but we made it through and I think are the better for it!
I can’t wait to hear all your sage advice for me, or what I think, is that you will be consoling me that this behaviour is something I will just have to live with if I wish to be in a relationship with a MAN!
Thanks for reading.
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